Bonnie Bing: Forget laugh lines – now, there’s ‘tech neck’

07/01/2014 6:52 PM

07/01/2014 6:52 PM

As if we didn’t have enough effects of gravity to worry about, now there’s “tech neck.” No, it’s not that your neck is stiff from clamping your cellphone between your shoulder and your ear. It’s a wrinkle. Yes, a wrinkle caused from constantly looking down at your phone, iPad or other device.

We can’t frown or furrow our brow without getting wrinkles. Now we shouldn’t look down. I think the answer is to do everything in a prone position. Someone told me if you lie on your back and look in a mirror, you’ll see what you’d look like with a face lift. If that’s true, forget it. Yes, I did the mirror test, and now you will, too.

When you take a photo of yourself, a “selfie” (I really don’t like that word), or with two or more people, an “usie” (I like that one even less), remember to stretch that arm out as far as it will go and hold the phone or camera up so you have to look up. Just don’t tilt your head back, or you’ll have a photo of your nostrils.

The other day I accidentally hit the camera booth icon on my MacBook. I thought my laptop had been invaded by an alien. But no, there I was with about 16 chins. I still haven’t recovered.

Questionable results: If you love reading results of studies, here’s one for you. A recent study of 26 countries found that men in Slovenia spend 111 minutes on housework every day. I don’t know anything about Slovenia, so I take the researchers at their word. The same study, however, says that men in the United States devote 82 minutes a day to household tasks. Wait, now, what? That is more than an hour a day. Did they ask a bunch of house husbands? If you’re one of those 82-minute guys, forgive me, but isn’t that number a little high? Like 60 minutes too high? Just asking.

Questionable choice: The problem with being a baby boomer is we forget our chronological age and think the way someone 20 years (or more!) younger thinks. For example, I saw a one-piece navy blue swimsuit that was trimmed in white with navy blue polka dots. I thought, “oh, that’s cute.” And it was – on the hanger. I put that thing on and laughed until I cried. With my mascara on my cheekbones, I said out loud to myself – needless to say no one was invited to view this experience – “Bonnie, are you crazy? How old are you, 22? Cute? Get a grip.” I handed it back to the salesperson and said, “Nope, not for me.” She said, “Oh too bad, it’s so cute.”

I laughed all the way to the car.

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