Kapaun soccer’s Ashley Shepherd plays on without her father, coach

If Ashley Shepherd closes her eyes, she can recapture the image of her father, Alan, standing on the soccer sideline, arms crossed, clipboard clutched in one hand. From the time she was a little girl and allowed to sit on the sideline during games, Ashley saw her dad stand just so, sometimes altering his stance to one with his hands on his hips.

Ashley holds onto those memories tightly, even though they hurt.

Alan Shepherd died of a heart attack in August, shortly before the Kapaun Mount Carmel boys soccer season began.

“It’s been tough because I’m used to seeing him on the sideline,” said Ashley, a senior on the girls team this spring. “He’s not there anymore.… Being on the field, it gets my mind off it. During a game, though, it really hits hard. During a game, he should be there. But he’s not.

“I play for him. Almost every game, I try to. I want to make him proud.”

Her mom, Beth, is sure that Alan is keeping close tabs on Ashley and the Crusaders.

“I picture him in heaven, in God’s ear, telling Him how the play should be run,” Beth said with a laugh.

The shock of losing Alan continues to reverberate through the Shepherd family. In the aftermath, they were enveloped not only by the Kapaun community, but by Wichita’s soccer community, of which Alan played a major role for more than four decades as a player, coach and advocate for the sport.

Shepherd, who was 61, has five children — Ashley, Emily, Hayley, Ian and Marissa. Hayley plays soccer at Johnson County Community College.

“It’s hard on all the kids not having him around. It’s a huge void, especially for Ashley,” Beth said. “She goes to school, and he’s not there. She’d see him every day, and he’s not there. She comes home, and he’s not there. She goes to soccer, and he’s not there. It’s a constant reminder to her.”

Beth and her younger daughters have gotten into a routine in the months since Alan’s death, although there are still days when Beth catches herself thinking that he will be home soon.

The start of Ashley’s senior season, though, has reintroduced the hole caused by Alan’s death.

“I know Alan was looking forward to having Ashley as a senior and the whole team in general,” Beth said. “… Even if she wasn’t his daughter, you play for a coach for three years and your senior year is coming and you have all these expectations and it’s going to be fun.

“For it to change so drastically, it’s bittersweet. We’re still excited for Ashley’s senior year, but…. ”

Kapaun is a young team with 18 sophomores in the program, which is now coached by Anthony Cantele. An assistant under Alan, Cantele also coached the boys last fall.

He credits Shepherd, who did not coach the Kapaun boys while Cantele was a Crusader, with helping him renew his love for soccer.

“He revitalized my love for the game by asking me to coach. That’s how our friendship developed,” said Cantele, who was the kicker for Kansas State’s football team during his college years. “I came on board and remembered how much I love soccer.”

Taking over for a legend such as Shepherd, who won a combined 17 City League boys and girls titles and 29 regional boys and girls titles, isn’t easy. Beth, who is the team mom, has been an excellent source of help with the minutiae that surrounds any program.

And Cantele counts on Ashley’s leadership.

“She’s been around Kapaun soccer a lot longer than I have,” Cantele said. “She knows the traditions and knows what her father built the program on.

“She’s not necessarily a vocal person when it comes to leading, but as far as actions, you can tell she’s his daughter by how she handles everything and how she goes about her business, whether it’s practice, games or off-the-field stuff. It’s obvious she knows what she’s doing.”

Ashley, who plays center midfielder, is a strong technical player and good decision maker.

“She’s not necessarily going to beat you with her speed, but that’s a small portion of soccer,” Cantele said. “At her position, she needs good decision-making and being good on the ball. I know her dad always focused on that with her.”

Kapaun won its first game by beating Derby on penalty kicks in the Titan Classic on Tuesday. It would have been the kind of game that sparked conversation within the family.

“Game days are very hard,” Beth said. “To have the game end, I have no one to talk this over with.… Even after their club games, Alan would tell them what a great job they did. He was so positive, and I think they miss that, too, coming home and having the positive feedback. I can do that, but it’s not the same.”

There are more difficult days ahead.

The alumni game, which is scheduled for April 9, won’t be the same, although Hayley plans to play and is recruiting alums.

Emily Shepherd, an eighth-grader, won’t experience her dad coaching her as a Kapaun player.

“She won’t get to experience what I did — he wasn’t only my dad but my coach and my best friend,” Ashley said.

While soccer wasn’t the only connection Alan’s family had with him — his faith, movies and travel were all important — it’s a part of him they cling to.

“The girls know that he would want them to continue playing soccer and for the older two to continue on with their lives,” Beth said. “We need to embrace his love for life and carry that on in our daily activities.”

This story was originally published March 31, 2016 at 1:00 PM with the headline "Kapaun soccer’s Ashley Shepherd plays on without her father, coach."