MSU's Merchant combines coaching with family life

During Michigan State's practice at the women's NCAA Tournament on Saturday, coach Suzy Merchant ran the early minutes with precision. She walked around the court watching drills at both baskets, calling out the time remaining in each drill.

Merchant was all business.

As the mother of two young boys, Merchant is adept at moving from one moment to another. At any moment, the focus might be recruiting, coaching, or talking to a booster — or it might be cuddling on the couch with Tyler, 4, and Brady, six months.

"I try to be the best I can be in the moment that I'm in," said Merchant, whose team plays Wisconsin-Green Bay at 8:40 tonight in a second-round game at Intrust Bank Arena. "I struggled with that early on. At this level, it's kind of all-encompassing. It's like drinking out of a fire hose most days."

When Merchant was hired in April 2007, her oldest, Tyler, was an infant. As badly as she wanted the job — she had coached at Eastern Michigan for nine years — she battled the guilt of putting her son in daycare. She worried about whether she could possibly balance motherhood and coaching at the Division I level.

Her parents, Glenn and Mary Ellen Merchant, were the answer. They offered to move from Traverse City, Mich., to live with their daughter and her husband, Gary Rakan. They lived with Suzy and Rakan until late 2010.

"It was spectacular," said Merchant, the Big Ten Coach of the Year. "I never had to pack my kids up. When we left, Grandma and Grandpa had them all the time. It's been a tough adjustment. We now have a nanny, and she does a great job. I love her and she's spectacular, but it's not the same as your mom and dad.

"I think in some ways they were probably better parents than Gary and I were. You appreciate the value and the relationships. They gave me an opportunity to get started here and get my feet under me and get some confidence in being able to manage both."

Her parents did what they could to make life easier for Merchant and her husband. Her dad fixed everything around the house, her parents did the grocery shopping and when she came home, there was a meal on the table.

"I'm 40 years old and I've got my mom and dad living with me," said Merchant, who suffered a miscarriage in 2009. "It was a necessary evil, and it was a selfless thing for them to do."

Connie Clipfell, the wife of associate head coach Shane Clipfell, usually takes care of the boys, especially when Rakan is away on business. He is in Wichita with the boys for the tournament. Tyler, often called Ty, rides on the bus with the players, winning their hearts with each smile and laugh.

"It's like he has 15 sisters. Coach will never have a problem finding babysitting. I'll watch him if she needs me to," Michigan State guard Brittney Thomas said.

Motherhood and coaching aren't always so darn cute and cuddly, though. Merchant recalled speaking at an alumni event when Ty was a baby and he threw up on her during the speech.

"People just roll with it," she said. "The atmosphere at Michigan State is pretty unique and special. For me, it's been a pretty easy transition in terms of that. If that wasn't there, I think it would be a lot harder on me as a female.

"The one thing I remember when I had the opportunity to interview for the job, our president, she's a female (Lou Anna Simon), she said, 'We ask women to lead, but then we never give them the resources to accomplish it at a high level.' That's not what it's like at Michigan State. They put their money where their mouth is and I appreciate that."

Even with all the help Merchant receives from those closest to her, balancing both aspects of her life has its rough moments.

Monday night, shortly after the selection show revealed that Michigan State would be sent to Wichita, she said her good-byes.

"I just kissed my husband and my two boys good-bye," she said then. "They said, 'I want to stay with you.' 'I don't know if I'll see you in the next week, but I am your mom.' This is what you work so hard for all these years."

All at the same time, there's coaching joy and mommy guilt because she's leaving.

"She's a working mom just like a lot of people around the world are working moms," Shane Clipfell said. "No one can do full-time work and the kids without good help, and she has good help around her. That's probably the biggest key.

"The kids have helped her balance the work load and taking time when you can and being home every chance that she can. Which, at times, isn't that often, but every chance that she can, she takes some of the kid (time) in at home."

The balancing act is a common topic among coaches. She and Green Bay coach Matt Bollant bonded over family conversations while out recruiting last summer.

"It's a very difficult thing to be a head coach and have kids and try to have that balance," Bollant said. "Obviously it's easier for me as a male. I'm not delivering the kids. I admire her for doing that."

As do her players.

"She does so much as a mother and as a coach," senior Kalisha Keane said. "We have a lot of respect for her to be able to balance both of her worlds. That's one of the hardest things I think or a coach to do is to separate family and her job. She pretty much has two sets of children."

This story was originally published March 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM with the headline "MSU's Merchant combines coaching with family life."