There’s algae in Kansas lakes. Who can we arrest? | Opinion
I just got a press release from the Kansas Department of Health and Environment warning of toxic blue-green algae at Lake Afton, Wellington Lake, Marion Reservoir, Pomona Lake, King Lake and the Gathering Pond (whatever that is) in Geary County.
From this news, we can only draw one obvious conclusion: The terrorists have struck!
Obviously, the algae in these beloved Kansas lakes (and pond) is targeted sabotage by deranged anti-American fanatics. First the Reflecting Pool in Washington. Now this!
Starting today, we need to fence off these lakes (and pond), and dump in however much hydrogen peroxide it takes to kill the algae — along with a healthy dose of ivermectin, the miracle horse dewormer that cures everything.
To prevent this kind of incident from ever happening again, we’ll need to drain these lakes (and pond), and apply Rhino Liner, which is the greatest and strongest and most beautiful liner ever made.
It’s super important that we protect these water resources.
Think of the poor data centers that might have to go thirsty if we don’t.
‘SICK, DERANGED PEOPLE!’
We must be ever-vigilant. Say you’re walking along a Kansas lake (or pond) and see what you think is a young boy skipping stones across the surface, or picking up an interesting piece of driftwood to whittle?
That’s what they want you to think. But how do you know these “innocent kids” aren’t child soldiers, and that the apparent rocks they’re throwing in the water aren’t cleverly camouflaged algae seeds?
Also, those so-called “Boy Scout knives” are perfect for cutting “horrible gashes” in our lakes (and pond), allowing algae-feeding sediments on the bottom to mix with the precious clean water above. You won’t see that reported in the lamestream media.
These gashes are either 250, 300 or 350 feet long, depending on which day it is, who in the government is talking, and whether anyone gets to ask follow-up questions. Only specially trained and equipped agents can see the gashes, so don’t bother looking for them yourself or asking for proof.
Just know we simply cannot allow these vandals, or goths, or whatever they are, to destroy our Kansas landmarks and get away with it.
To quote President Donald Trump, responding to the similar algaeic attack on the Reflecting Pool, “WOW, who would do such a thing? SICK, DERANGED PEOPLE!”
We need to follow his strong lead, the strongest lead in the entire history of leads by the way, when he deployed National Guard troops to patrol the perimeter of the Reflecting Pool, and capture anyone touching the peeling bits of Rhino Liner floating around in the water.
Here in Kansas, we have a National Guard too. And anyone who touches our water, or puts in or takes anything out of our lakes (or pond), should be immediately arrested and sentenced to 10 years in Leavenworth prison.
Something something Dr. Fauci something
Sure, “scientists” and “experts” will tell you that algae blooms happen whenever you have a body of still water, mixed with farm runoff, sitting outside in the hot summer sun.
They’ll say it happens every year — which just goes to show you how long these enemies of the people have been carrying out their deep state plots right under our noses.
Where were all these “scientists” and “experts” when “Doctor” Fauci was poisoning us with his “vaccines” — with their microchips to track our every move, and aborted fetus parts to keep us from going to heaven when we die? And they expect us to trust them now?
The bottom line is WE ARE AMERICA and as citizens, we have a sworn duty to protect ourselves, our country and our constitution from all enemies, foreign, domestic and imaginary.
