Billboard near Wichita airport an outrageous outrage we can all be outraged about | Opinion
I am outraged.
Driving west down Kellogg near Eisenhower Airport, I noticed off to the left (where else?) a Cracker Barrel billboard.
The logo on the sign — get this — doesn’t have a picture of an old man sitting by a barrel.
I honestly thought we were past this sorry chapter in the history of American commercial intercourse, after conservative America righteously put its foot down and boycotted this company into scrapping its new logo, because it didn’t have either an old man or a barrel.
But I guess it’s not over ‘til it’s over. Just today, the New York Post, America’s most reliable news source, reported “Cracker Barrel dethroned as fastest-growing US breakfast chain as Republican diners flee over logo fiasco: report.”
After all, nothing says “America” like the town coot sitting by a barrel in a store, waiting for someone to take pity and challenge him to a game of checkers, because he has nothing better to do with his life.
Having grown up in 1960s rural America, I never actually saw this. But I did see it in lots of TV shows like “Petticoat Junction,” so it had to be an actual thing.
I’ve eaten at a Cracker Barrel as recently as seven (or maybe eight) years ago, when on the way home from a K-State football game we stopped at the CB in a neighboring town — Junky City, or something like that.
It pains me to know that my patronage of that business contributed to the downfall of traditional Kansas values.
Why am I so angry about a restaurant’s logo? Practically every influencer on the right, including two Donald Trumps (regular and junior) said I should be, and that’s good enough for me.
Even worse, it’s not the just the logo that’s anti-American about that sign out on Kellogg.
It also says “It’s 8AM somewhere,” and has a picture of a stack of pancakes.
This is a subtle, but insidious, radical left attack on the eating habits of normal Americans. Breakfast food is to be eaten at breakfast, lunch food at lunch and dinner food at dinner — that’s God’s plan.
If we just start letting people eat whatever they want whenever they want willy-nilly, that kind of permissiveness leads nowhere but societal collapse.
And exactly where is this place where it’s 8 a.m. somewhere? Communist China, perhaps?
And pancakes? You know who eats pancakes? Sissy beta Frenchmen in their hoity toity sidewalk cafes that they rode to on their snooty little Vespa scooters, that’s who. And then they don’t even have the decency to eat proper pancakes — they make them really thin and call them “crepes,” or some such nonsense.
And here’s a little-known but chilling fact: The modern pancake traces its roots to ancient Greece! You know, the place where guys paraded around all day in their girly-man miniskirts talking about philosophy and playing lutes.
If Cracker Barrel was as American as it wants you to believe, their billboard would have a picture of biscuits and gravy, with a coffee cup of extra gravy on the side. And it would say: “We don’t care what time it is anywhere else, we serve breakfast for breakfast.”
So today, I cry out on behalf of all real Americans from the eternal shadow of our greatest president, Ronald Wilson Reagan, who stood up to the entire communist world and defiantly uttered those immortal words “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this billboard!”
Or something like that.
This story was originally published September 25, 2025 at 4:27 AM.
