Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Trump’s Prefrontal Cortex Admits It Can’t Possibly Filter All Impulsive Comments Coming From Rest Of Brain

▪  Olympic Officials: ‘On The Whole, Only 4 Or 5 Really Terrible Things Happened’

▪  Rio Police Warned Olympic Runners To Avoid Miles 4 Through 23 Of Marathon Course

▪  Trump: Obama Vacationing Instead of Running ISIS

▪  Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

▪  Restaurant’s Eating Challenge Rewards Any Patron Who Can Consume Reasonably Portioned Meal