Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines | The Wichita Eagle

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Hillary Clinton: ‘Young Girls Should Have an Equal Opportunity to One Day Feel Power Coursing Through Their Body’

▪  Obama: ‘Hillary Will Fight to Protect My Legacy, Even the Truly Detestable Parts’

▪  Democrats Schedule Three Straight Hours of Booing to Get It Out of System

▪  Pro-Sanders Phillie Phanatic Mascot Places Masking Tape Reading ‘Silenced’ Over Honker

▪  Biden Regales DNC With Story of ’80s Girl Band Vixen Breaking Hard Rock’s Glass Ceiling

▪  Trump Sick and Tired of Mainstream Media Always Trying to Put His Words Into Some Sort of Context

▪  National Dating Standards Lowered