Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Obama Signs Executive Order Closing Congress

▪  Romney Incredibly Relieved That He Can Keep All His Houses

▪  6 Weeks’ Paid Leave Opposed by People With 33 Weeks’ Paid Leave

▪  New NCAA Regulations Prohibit Student-Athletes From Studying More Than 30 Hours Per Week

▪  Patriots Really Embracing ‘Us Against the Rules’ Mentality

▪  Marshawn Lynch Delivers Eloquent 45-Minute Address on Privacy in the Modern Age

▪  Katy Perry Drops Hints That Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Be Awful

This story was originally published January 30, 2015 at 6:02 PM.