Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from theonion.com:

▪  Bernie Sanders Refuses Flashy ABC Podium in Favor of Own Humble, Homemade Lectern

▪  Hillary Clinton Relaxing Before Debate With Few Hours of Debate Practice

▪  University Quickly Slaps Together Rinky-Dink Ceremony for Anyone Graduating in December

▪  U.S. Soothes Upset Netanyahu With Shipment of Ballistic Missiles

▪  Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space in Honor of Daughter Who Felt Weird in Class Once

▪  Longtime Science Textbook Retires After 40 Years in Public School System

▪  Denny’s Market Researcher Emerges From Focus Group Shaken After Finding Out What Americans Really Want for Breakfast

This story was originally published December 27, 2015 at 6:02 PM.