Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Clinton Promises to Enact Agenda Whether or Not She Elected

▪  Bernie Sanders Repeatedly Scolded for Attempting to Unionize Debate Moderators

▪  Ben Carson: Democrats Offered No Plan to Protect Earth From Dragons

▪  Obama: ‘I Will Allow 10 States to Secede, but No More’

▪  New Aetna Wedding Registry Lets Guests Purchase Medical Procedures Couple Picked Out

▪  Report: American People Lead World in Compressing Big Sandwiches So They’re Bitable

This story was originally published October 18, 2015 at 7:05 PM.