The following satirical headlines come from theonion.com:
▪ Overcrowded GOP Field Forces Iowa to Construct Massive Town Hall Stadium
▪ GOP Candidates Offered Cash Voucher to Give Up Spot and Participate in Later Election
▪ World’s 22,000 Polar Bears Forced to Share Last Remaining Iceberg
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▪ Report: Rising Disney World Ticket Costs Prompting Many Parents to Leave Children at Home
▪ Eminem Terrified as Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised on His Music