Opinion Line (July 24)

So, if you’re a Kansan and want to avoid the draft, you don’t need to flee to Canada or plead your faith. You just need to eat like an American.

While I was watching Obama’s speech about the Iran nuclear deal, all I could think about was: “If you like your insurance plan, you can keep your insurance plan.”

After reading about the deal Obama made with Iran, I would hate to send the president out to purchase a new car for me.

When Donald Trump dies, may I have his hair?

I keep my thermostat set at 79 to 80 degrees. Last month my bill was $90. This month it’s $156. Thanks, KCC, for approving increases in Westar Energy rates with its every request. After all, what really matters is keeping those shareholders happy.

The Sedgwick County commissioners who want to operate on a cash-only basis seem to forget that unless they can also repeal inflation, items they put off until later will only rise in price. Penny-wise and dollar-foolish.

It’s too bad the zoo doesn’t stop construction on the elephant exhibit and post signs letting the public know that the Republican-dominated County Commission not only doesn’t honor its own promises but doesn’t even support its own mascot.

In the past eight months, what has the Coalition for a Better Wichita done to live up to its name?

We’ve had Superman, Iron Man and now Ant-Man. I am waiting for the Skunk Man with rabies. If you make him mad, the whole area will have to be decontaminated. We can shoot the movie in Wichita and have the mayor as a supporting actor.

Kansas, Scott City, WSU and Wichita should be so proud to have Ron Baker representing the United States on the basketball team in the Pan Am Games. He is truly a class act.

Airplanes hit by lasers should have a device in the cockpit to send the laser right back to the originator. Then let’s see what happens.

I bought these great new shorts. The back pockets are so hard to get into, not only does it foil pickpockets, but a lot of times if I want to buy something, I’ll think how hard it’s going to be to get my wallet out and say, “Never mind.”

I would gladly go back in time for a few years to the late 1930s and be a man wearing suits and hats. I would take one invention with me: the automatic pin spotter machine. Life would be good.

The cellphone and iPad are now the latest graven images that are before us.

This story was originally published July 23, 2015 at 7:03 PM with the headline "Opinion Line (July 24)."