Djuan Wash: Everyone deserves dignity and equality

As a civil rights activist, I am faced with a conundrum.

Though I’m elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has legalized same-sex marriage, my heart is broken by the deaths of nine black churchgoers in Charleston, S.C., and the subsequent burning of black churches across the South.

Though I am outraged at the racist and shameful attacks on black life, I am equally incensed at the hateful responses to the equality ruling by dissenting justices, presidential candidates, clergy and by some of those who are allies in the fight for racial justice.

I waited nervously last Sunday, praying not to hear a hateful sermon from the pulpit of my church – which I helped remodel last year and where my mother served as a trustee and food director for our food kitchen. I waited nervously because I am gay. With a partner, I’m raising my great-niece as our own. I waited to hear how my family would be attacked and insulted, how we had chosen a “lifestyle” and were living in sin – a choice neither of us ever made.

I was bracing for a message devoid of understanding, compassion and lacking of Jesus’ commandment of neighborly love. Instead, I heard a message of love and non-judgment. I was relieved.

Unfortunately, many people won’t share in this experience. Everyone isn’t as accepting.

As a black gay man, I’ve been bullied and called slurs regarding my sexuality far more than my race. Though I’m fully cognizant of the systems of institutional racism, and I’m dedicated to continuing the fight against them, my blackness, though ever present, has failed to reach the levels of emotional toll felt for my being gay.

It took years for me to overcome the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness brought on by the crippling pressure of being afraid to be myself out of fear of rejection by my peers, family and church.

Our communities are already fractured and broken with an enormous amount of work to be done. This court ruling has caused some of us to lose focus of what the movement for justice and equality entailed for those seeking and hoping for it.

What we really need more of is love and compassion, and the understanding that everyone deserves dignity and equality. We do not have time to deny justice and equality for one group while at the same time demanding our own freedom and liberation.

To those who may be struggling with being gay: Know that you are not alone. Know that there are others who have been where you are. Know that you are loved and that you are covered by the grace of God. Know that living your truth is your liberation.

This story was originally published July 4, 2015 at 7:02 PM with the headline "Djuan Wash: Everyone deserves dignity and equality."