Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Rand Paul Joins Crowded Field of People Who Will Never Be President

▪  DOJ Announces Initiative to Deploy Smartphone-Carrying Bystanders to Nation’s Streets

▪  Poll: Americans Starting to Worry About Climate Change Now That It Affects Their Lawns

▪  Cost-Cutting Measures Force Company to Start Hiring More Female Employees

▪  Kentucky Players Distraught Over Losing Undefeated Season Bonuses

– Phillip Brownlee

This story was originally published April 12, 2015 at 7:02 PM.