Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

Frustrated Russian Officials Struggling To Get Any Policies Through Dysfunctional Trump Administration

Shy Ex-Citigroup Executive Struggling To Fit In With Popular Clique Of Ex–Goldman Sachs Executives At White House

FBI Panicking After Learning Encrypted National Security Communications May Have Been Intercepted By Trump Administration

Trump Insists That Now, More Than Ever, Americans Must Stand Strong In Face Of Empathy

Man Unsure How Fellow Diners Got Impression Appetizer Was Ordered For Table