Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  FEC Extends Election By 7 Months To Give Nation Chance To Better Get To Know Candidates

▪  Nation Unsure It Can Tolerate Eight More Days Of Rudy Giuliani

▪  Nation Fears Drug Test Would Reveal Trump Not On Drugs

▪  Obama Hits Record-High Approval Rating Despite Turning Country Into Jobless Crime-Ridden Hellhole

▪  Man Wakes From Coma With Ability To Understand Health Insurance Policy

▪  Cooking Class Instructor Can Already Tell Which Couples Signed Up Based On Marriage Counselor’s Recommendation