Dubious, bogus and utterly phony headlines

The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:

▪  Trump Says Ordering People At Rallies To Attack One Another Has Prepared Him To Be Commander In Chief

▪  NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

▪  Man Who Stopped Dieting Already Seeing Results

▪  Horrible Facebook Algorithm Accident Results In Exposure To New Ideas

▪  Chess Grandmaster Tired Of People Comparing Every Life Situation To Chess Match