Caring for a relative struggling with memory? Kansas police offer safety tips
Overland Park resident Rick McConnell and his sisters had been providing care for their 81-year-old mother, Jerry McConnell.
Rick McConnell bought Jerry McConnell Apple AirTags, called her multiple times a week and occasionally helped her with directions when she got lost.
Despite this, Jerry McConnell went missing last month. Rick McConnell thinks she got lost and couldn’t find her way back home.
According to media releases from the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, nine Silver Alerts for missing older individuals have been issued in Kansas this year.
Many of those missing have histories of cognitive impairment, such as dementia.
Jerry McConnell is not diagnosed with dementia, but Rick McConnell said she was experiencing issues with her short-term memory.
According to a 2025 report from the Alzheimer’s Association, between 35-60% of people with dementia will wander away from their caregivers at least once. Many wander to reach a specific destination, like work — even if they are no longer employed — or important places from their past.
While the possibility of an aging relative going missing is a scary thought, caregivers can take steps to decrease the possibility of something happening to their loved ones, according to law enforcement and local experts.
Preventative steps with aging family
One of the most important steps to ensure the safety of aging relatives is to look out for warning signs, according to Officer John Lacy, a spokesperson with the Overland Park Police Department.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, early signs of dementia include memory loss that affects daily life, challenges in planning, difficulty with completing familiar tasks, confusion, misplacing things and decreased judgment. These concerns should immediately be evaluated by a doctor, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.
Lacy said that if you notice early signs of dementia in your loved one, you should immediately put an AirTag on their phone.
Other technologies can help ensure that aging relatives stay safe. Rachel Hiles, founder of Sandwiched KC, a nonprofit that helps family caregivers in the Kansas City area, said that cameras can help caregivers keep an eye on their relatives. Certain cameras can notify you if someone comes to the door or if your relative is trying to leave the house.
“Nowadays there are so many wonderful technology solutions,” Hiles said. “So, I mean, that’s going to be my first suggestion, especially, you know, if people are still living somewhat independently.”
Hiles said it’s important to teach older loved ones how to use technology, like their phones and medical alert buttons. She also said it’s important to regularly review and practice the technology so that older relatives always know what to do.
Regular communication is also key to ensuring the safety of aging relatives. Lacy said caregivers should check in with their elderly relatives every day and get their daily agendas.
Lacy said caregivers should be in regular communication with their neighbors of aging relatives. Hiles emphasized the importance of a back-up person who can look out for your relative when you’re unable to do so.
Finally, Hiles said it’s important to make a good living environment for aging relatives with dementia so they have emotional security and are less likely to wander. She said a solid routine and predictability are important.
“Safeguard emotions, help people feel secure, and try to provide as much happy, joyful, beautiful moments for them,” Hiles said.
Caregivers should not feel they’re alone
As caregivers take care of their relatives, they need to remember to take care of themselves, too. Hiles said that caregivers do not have to do their job alone.
“Caregiving is very isolating, and it can really feel like you’re on an island,” Hiles said. “But when you start to talk to other people who have a similar experience, you start to feel a little bit more normal again.”
Hiles said caregivers need to make time for themselves because “nobody’s going to hand you respite on a silver platter.”
She said caregivers might be able to rely on family and friends, faith communities, community resources or caregiving companies to get a break for themselves.
This story was originally published June 9, 2025 at 3:19 PM with the headline "Caring for a relative struggling with memory? Kansas police offer safety tips."
