Kansas teen candidate called ‘abusive’ by ex-girlfriend, who says he slapped, choked her

Note: this article has been updated with a comment from Aaron Colemen from Sept. 6.

A few days before Christmas last year, Taylor Passow said she and her boyfriend, Aaron Coleman, were missing each other. Passow, who was in Topeka, texted Coleman that she would hitchhike to Kansas City, Kan., where Coleman lived.

Coleman asked where she would be going. She replied she would be coming to see him. .

Then the conversation took a dark, menacing turn.

“I hope you get abducted raped chopped up and have ya pieces scattered around and Burnt in different locations,” Coleman texted Passow, according to screenshots she shared with The Star. “Read about it. dangerous for women to hitchhike.”

Coleman, a 19-year-old dishwasher and college student, won a Kansas House Democratic primary earlier this month, defeating incumbent Rep. Stan Frownfelter. Coleman has a history of inappropriate behavior toward women and girls that has come more fully into focus since his upset victory on Aug. 4.

The candidate has apologized for past misdeeds, including threatening to share a nude photograph of a girl if she didn’t send more. At the same time, he has minimized his conduct by saying much of it happened while he was in middle school.

But Passow, 21, alleges threatening and disturbing behavior that occurred within the past year, while Coleman was a legal adult. She said Coleman choked and slapped her while they were in a hot tub, and during the course of their relationship he spoke about her weight and became controlling about what she ate and drank.

Passow shared screenshots of text conversations between her and Coleman with The Star to substantiate parts of her account. She has also posted the screenshots to social media.

Passow allowed a Star reporter to view the entire text thread between her and a number that is listed as Coleman’s cell phone from the registration form for his failed write-in bid for governor in 2018. She also produced photographs that appeared to show the two together.

In some of the texts, Coleman pushed back on the hot tub allegations, writing “that never happened” but also that he “smacked” her in the hot tub and that she smacked him.

“There’s no way that he should be doing anything like that, he is way too childlike,” Passow said in an interview. “He’s too much of a ‘my way is the right way, nobody else’s opinions matter, if nobody else shares his beliefs they’re just wrong,’ things like that. And he’s abusive. There’s just no reason to have somebody like that in office.”

Passow shared screenshots of text messages from Aug. 23 in which Coleman told Passow he isn’t going to drop out of the race. He wrote that he had been “honest with the public about everything I’ve done,” adding that “if you want to accuse me of something, you’re welcome to do that, I’ll be honest then as well.”

In subsequent texts, Coleman reversed himself, telling Passow he would leave the race.

Coleman publicly announced his intent to exit early Aug. 23 but then broke his pledge two days later, saying he had heard from many people urging him to continue campaigning.

He didn’t respond to multiple phone calls and emails for this story. When a reporter visited his home Aug. 26, a woman who answered the door declined to comment and refused to identify herself. The home is owned by Coleman’s parents.

More than a week later on Sept. 6, Coleman issued a press release on Twitter saying that while he was abusive toward Passow, he did not agree with the characterization about the couple’s experience in the hut tub after Christmas.

“I did not choke her,” Coleman said. “I also don’t think she is intentionally lying, as I know large quantities of alcohol could be affecting both of our memories.”

The Intercept, which first reported Passow’s allegations, was also unable to reach Coleman for comment.

“So I can never justify what I did to those women, and I do apologize to them from a place of remorse and shame, but words are no longer an acceptable response today. We need to provide safety to women in this society, which we do not currently do,” Coleman said in a Facebook post Aug. 25.

The Star has previously reported a woman, now 18, said Coleman bullied her in the sixth grade to the point that she attempted suicide. The woman said Coleman called her fat and told her to kill herself as part of persistent verbal abuse.

One woman has said Coleman attempted to extort her in middle school over a nude photograph, telling her he would share it unless she sent more. She said she didn’t know how Coleman got the photo. Another woman has said Coleman harassed her for months.

On Aug. 26, party chairwoman Vicki Hiatt said Coleman’s pattern of behavior shows he is unfit for office. She said the state party would follow the lead of the House Democratic caucus “to secure alternate representation” for the district.

“The Party will in no way be helping Mr. Coleman’s candidacy or campaign,” Hiatt said in a statement.

‘I was just done’

Coleman and Passow matched on Tinder in November 2019, and the two began meeting within weeks. Coleman initially struck Passow as mature for his age, she said, adding that he “talked very smart and sounded like he knew what he was doing.”

Their relationship consisted of talking and occasional meetings, mostly at hotels and AirBnBs, she said. But after they decided to become girlfriend and boyfriend, Coleman started talking about her weight and whether she was taking medication, she said, adding that he became controlling about her diet.

To Passow, it was clear even then that Coleman was interested in politics. He spoke to her about how he was a “high status man,” she said.

“How he wanted me to be his First Lady of Kansas and that he was going to have to basically transform me into this political standing woman and how I wouldn’t be able to do certain things and things I would have to change to be with him if he was a high status man,” Passow said.

Passow, who works as a restaurant server, said she and Coleman had their text message exchange about hitchhiking that included Coleman’s rape comment on Dec. 15, 2019.

“Dont you ever say you hope I get raped. Ever,” Passow texted Coleman after the exchange, according to a screenshot of the conversation.

The two continued talking after the incident. Passow said she didn’t want to be alone, even if the relationship was only good about 10 percent of the time. Passow’s mother, Christina Crompton, said the couple’s relationship was “very, very up and down, very fast.”

On Christmas Day the two checked into a Kansas City AirBnB and stayed until Dec. 27, Passow said. The property had a hot tub the couple soaked in during their final morning.

Coleman kept talking about wanting to have a threesome but Passow wasn’t interested, she said. Eventually, Passow said she made a joke that she would break up with him for his birthday so he could have a threesome.

“And he kind of stopped there for a few seconds and he spider-monkey jumped on top of me, sat on top of me and started choking me and slapped me three times and said ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ And I pushed him off from on top of me after I slapped him and got out of the hot tub and said maybe I’ll just break up with you right now,” Passow said.

Passow shared a screenshot of a text message exchange where Coleman pushes back on Passow’s account of the incident.

In the exchange, Passow tells Coleman: “You got on top of me and started choking me and slapping me.”

Coleman replies, “You have a funny memory,” then Passow texts, “I remember it perfectly.”

“That never happened. You dumped me and I smacked you and you smacked me and I immediately got up and stormed out of the hot tub,” Coleman texted.

The couple split up in January, Passow said.

“I was just done with it. I was just done,” she said.

Democrats respond

Kansas Democrats have widely denounced Coleman. Some said Aug. 26 that Passow’s allegations only underscore his unfitness for office.

“People need to stop saying, ‘well, it’s been when he was a kid,’” said Faith Rivera, a local Democratic activist. “Nah, it’s seven months ago.”

House Minority Leader Tom Sawyer, a Wichita Democrat, has disavowed Coleman. Frownfelter plans to run a write-in campaign. Republican Kristina Smith will also wage a write-in campaign after no Republican filed to run in the primary.

Elliott Adams, a Goddard Democrat running for the House, on Aug. 25 voiced support for Coleman’s decision to stay in the race. But the next day, after Passow’s allegations were reported, he emailed The Star to say he had changed his position.

“I can understand a bad past but it is becoming painfully clear that Aaron’s behavior is still continuing,” Adams said.

ActBlue, a payment platform often used Democratic candidates and progressive organizations, shut down Coleman’s fundraising site, posing an obstacle for receiving donations to his campaign.

“ActBlue reserves the right to determine which entities and organizations use its services,” an ActBlue spokesperson said.

Rep. Stephanie Clayton, an Overland Park Democrat who was previously a Republican, said character should continue to matter in politics.

“Having been in my unique position of being in both parties, I can tell you I don’t care who does it,” Clayton said. “It is wrong. It is always wrong. I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care what the circumstances were.”

This story was originally published August 26, 2020 at 5:25 PM.