Army Reserve families from Wichita area adjusting to life apart (+video)

Justin Epley makes his own spaghetti these days.

That’s in addition to taking care of a 4-year-old German shepherd named Roxy.

His wife, Teresa, a soldier in the 451st Expeditionary Sustainment Command, has been at Fort Hood since mid-February and is about to deploy overseas for about a year.

His situation parallels that of many other spouses living without their significant others. But that’s part of life in the Army Reserve.

“As a reservist, if you don’t mobilize, deploy or work with your unit on whatever kind of orders you can get, then you don’t get that job experience,” said Chief Warrant Officer 2 Teresa Epley. “It’s really the only way.”

‘A little bit more real’

When her four children are asleep and it’s quiet in her Haysville home, Amanda Hathaway starts thinking about her husband’s upcoming deployment to Kuwait.

“A lot of people (say), ‘Oh, there’s no major trouble going on right now, so he’ll be fine,’ ” she said.

“It doesn’t really matter that we’re not in a war; it’s still he’s not here, so that’s kind of where my worry is, just because he’s not home.”

This deployment will be the first she and her husband, Staff Sgt. Luke Hathaway, will go through together.

“It’s getting a little bit more real each day,” she said. “(The children) are keeping me busy, so the distraction is very good.”

Her parents live in the Haysville area and have been helping take care of the children – ages 10, 9, 4 and 2 – during the week, she said.

The younger children haven’t yet fully grasped the concept of deployment, Luke Hathaway said.

“The younger two … I think it’s just ‘Daddy’s going to work,’ ” he said.

Luke Hathaway said he is “fully comfortable” leaving his family behind. His wife knows it’s what he signed up for, he said.

“When I’m gone for the year, I think it might be a little hard on them, but we’ve got so much stuff (at home) that hopefully it’ll keep them distracted,” he said.

“I want to keep in contact with them. I don’t want to come home and have them be like, ‘Who are you?’ ” he said. “That’s the one thing I fear the most, I think, out of this whole deployment.”

The soldiers in the 451st will have a few days off from training this weekend, which gives Amanda Hathaway one last chance to see her husband stateside.

“That will be the last time, so it’s going to be … really rough saying goodbye,” Luke Hathaway said. “It’s just going to be me and her.

“I told her, ‘Don’t bring the kids, because it was hard enough to say goodbye once.’ ”

Sacrificing time

Last week’s spring break provided a much-needed respite from school for Erin Sanger’s four children, ages 12, 9, 4 and 2.

It meant they could go to SeaWorld, Six Flags and the zoo in Waco, Texas.

It also meant they would have one more chance to see their dad before he leaves for Kuwait.

“It was almost like I didn’t want to get too excited about it, because I knew I was going to have to leave,” Sanger said.

“It was great seeing him, but I didn’t want to get overly excited … because he has to leave, and he’s going to be gone.”

Staff Sgt. Bryan Sanger, who lives in Augusta, is a human resources specialist with the 451st currently training at Fort Hood.

Even though he trains nearly 16 hours a day, he chose to spend what hours he had left with his family last week.

The sacrifice was “well worth it,” he said.

“I can endure long hours just to see them,” he said.

Erin Sanger, a social studies teacher at Wichita East High, said it is challenging being the sole parent for her four children since her husband left last month.

She said her main concern is that her husband will not be immediately available in case of an emergency.

“It seems like every time he’s been deployed – I wouldn’t say catastrophic, but big things will break around the house: the water heater, the sump pump,” she said. “I’m just waiting for something like that to happen.”

Her husband will be available to FaceTime while overseas, but because Kuwait’s time zone is eight hours ahead of Wichita’s, finding a good time to talk could be challenging, she said.

Bryan Sanger said he will make that happen.

“Just being able to have that communication with them really helps,” he said. “In the past, I’ve written letters to them, but … (FaceTime) is just a lot nicer to be able to see how things are going back home.

“They can tell me how school’s going; my oldest is dating now, so she can tell me how her dates are going and stuff.”

While FaceTime will help Bryan Sanger remain a part of his family’s lives, Erin Sanger said he will still miss out on many of his children’s life milestones.

“I feel sad for my kids mostly,” she said. “I try not to get too sad about (the deployment), because I know he’s just doing his job, basically.

“Our son James is going to start kindergarten – that’s a big one. Eamon will start preschool. James is going to start playing T-ball. Payton’s starting her first season for track this spring, and I know Bryan is a little disappointed he’s not able to be there.”

Leaving soon

With his wife scheduled to leave for Kuwait soon, Justin Epley came from Wichita to visit her at Fort Hood earlier this month.

Teresa Epley took two days off from training to sit in a Killeen hotel with him, soak in a hot tub and watch cable TV.

It wasn’t extravagant, but it was a few days of normalcy. No 16-hour training days, no bunk-bed barracks; just relaxing with her spouse.

This will be her second overseas deployment, in addition to her three stateside Army Reserve assignments.

That doesn’t make leaving easy, she said, but her husband has grown accustomed to it.

“He doesn’t want me to leave, but he understands there’s obligations and there’s opportunities,” she said.

This story was originally published March 23, 2016 at 5:31 PM with the headline "Army Reserve families from Wichita area adjusting to life apart (+video)."