Dear Mercedes the missing Longhorn: It is time to come home

Oh Mercedes, we know all too well this story and understand a woman sometimes has to do what she’s got to do.

You left in a huff nearly two weeks ago following Cross Trails, the weekly cowboy church service at the Prairie Rose Chuckwagon Supper, about two miles north of Benton. Soon after you ran, you were spotted near the Walmart in El Dorado — which meant you hoofed it 10 miles, crossing U.S. 254, probably at night.

Now, we are just saying it like it is: You have horns wider than a VW Bug and your butt is ample. We mean you no disrespect, but you are a Longhorn cow.

People have been talking about you and wanting you to come home.

You must have had a fleeting change of heart because we heard you were seen Wednesday night standing right in the driveway of the Prairie Rose. But then you ran off again as soon as Jesse Friesen, who works at the Prairie Rose, stopped his vehicle and tried to open a gate to welcome you back into the fold.

“We have a Longhorn bull and she was standing next to him,” said Greg Johnson, owner of the Prairie Rose. “When Jesse got out to open that gate, she took off in the field across the road. We realize she is close to home. We had a search party out looking for her when it was pitch dark. We didn’t find her but the next day we saw her tracks.”

On Saturday, it seemed like your freedom-loving days were finally coming to an end. A Prairie Rose neighbor corralled you in a 10-acre pasture. But when your folks came looking for you, you saw a low spot in the fence and went on to the next pasture.

“As of today, we have her located in a pasture — probably about a mile from the Prairie Rose,” Johnson said Sunday. “We are putting feed out for her to get her used to coming in so we can attempt to catch her.”

Here’s the deal, Mercedes — this isn’t just about you.

We heard you are “in the family way.” You are eating for two now.

It’s time to come home, girl.

Your people can help you.

Beccy Tanner: 316-268-6336, @beccytanner