‘Heart-crushing’ wedding venue e-mail leads to outpouring of support for gay couple

Preschool teacher Ali Waggy did not set out to become the poster child for gay rights in Wichita, but that’s what has happened over the past couple of days.

“It’s kind of scary,” she said.

Waggy said she wasn’t seeking publicity Monday morning when she posted something to Facebook about how the Barn at Grace Hill about seven miles east of Newton did not want to provide its venue for her wedding to Jessica Robinson.

She said she did it for her Facebook friends to see in case “they knew of a venue that was inclusive.”

“It just kind of blew up, and I did not expect that.”

The post has received more than 1,270 reactions and comments, and it’s been shared almost 550 times.

Waggy said since she was a child, she dreamed of a quaint barn wedding, and she’s been in contact with the Newton venue for at least half a year. She, her parents, her children and Robinson, who is in merchandising at Sam’s Club, toured the venue on Sunday and were ready to commit with deposits. Even before she was engaged, Waggy said she had her heart set on marrying there.

“Their barn is beautiful.”

She followed up the tour with an e-mail that day about a cleaning deposit and using an on-site coordinator. At 10 p.m., she received an e-mail reply from the venue co-owner, Amanda Balzer, that said she wanted “an open and honest line of communication” and to let Waggy “know who we are and where our heart is.”

“While our deeply held religious belief keeps us from celebrating anything but marriage between a man and woman, we desire to serve everyone equally and do not want to keep anyone from using our building who would like to. Our hearts are to serve, regardless of race, creed, color, origin, sexual orientation, gender or marital status, while maintaining our convictions and beliefs as well.”

Balzer said she shared this in order “to move forward in the most authentic way possible.”

Waggy was devastated.

“Honestly, I just started crying hysterically, and it was pretty awful and heart-crushing.”

With the flood of positive responses she’s had online, including numerous venues that have reached out to help her, Waggy said she’s less heartbroken now and realizes she’ll be able to find another venue before her July 2025 wedding.

Still, she’s upset over what led to the issue.

“I think it’s more upsetting that we’re still dealing with this, and it’s 2024.”

No one with the Barn at Grace Hill returned calls and texts for comment.

However, Grace Hill Winery — a separate business that is regularly confused with the Barn at Grace Hill — is commenting on the situation.

On Monday, the winery used Facebook to clarify that it is not the business Waggy was referring to.

“At Grace Hill Winery, we have always stood for inclusivity and equality.”

Managing partner Jeff Sollo said a friend alerted him to the “internet furor going on.”

“It’s been an interesting 24 hours, that’s for sure,” Sollo said. “When you kind of get dragged into a situation like this through no fault of your own, it’s a little disheartening.”

Waggy said she hates that that’s happened.

“I feel so bad for them.”

Both businesses are located on Grace Hill Road, though Grace Hill Winery is in Whitewater, not Newton.

“We’ve had a lot of people come out to our place thinking we were the same business,” Sollo said. “We have to direct them down the road to the Barn at Grace Hill.”

Though she never wanted or intended this much attention, Waggy said she does want to alert others to her experience.

“If I can help even one other person . . . not go through that, that’s a win.”

She continues to be buoyed by the responses of others as well.

“It’s just cool to see that.”

This story was originally published January 9, 2024 at 5:14 PM.