One household, two opinions on coronavirus precautions

One of the things I most love and appreciate about my husband is how laid back he is.

When I’m sobbing or seething over something ridiculous, Joe usually says, “Why would you let that bother you?” In hindsight, he’s almost always right.

I recommend living with someone like this except, perhaps, during a pandemic.

My husband’s laissez-faire attitude toward it may be better than panic; however, I fear it’s that same attitude that may allow the coronavirus into our home.

While I’ve been treating every surface in and out of our house as if the virus is on it — I even wash my hands immediately after opening the mail — and eschewing all physical contact, Joe is continuing his life almost as normal. That means a lot of everything except enough hand washing.

He’s a musician, and the show not only must go on in his world, it has, at least at the bars and restaurants that remain open.

For everyone who is having the same argument as Joe and I, I think there would be relief if someone makes the unpopular decision to shut down everything except essential businesses. There undoubtedly are many divided households in Kansas and beyond.

On Friday, when Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker ordered residents in his state to stay home, he said, “I fully recognize I am choosing between saving people’s lives and saving people’s livelihoods, but ultimately you can’t have a livelihood if you don’t have a life.”

Locally, Sedgwick County Commissioner Pete Meitzner took a different approach, explaining to the New York Times in a Friday story:

“I’m not really supportive yet of restricting things further or closing down.”

Meitzner said some places are closed, “but I do feel horrible for our restaurant workers and our hospitality workers at our hotels.”

Everyone does, including me. My regular job is to cover the city’s business community, and — this being Wichita — a lot of those people have become friends. I can’t fathom what they’re feeling right now and how they must be scrambling.

Again, though, that’s not the point.

As Egg Cetera owner Beverly Salas told the Times, she voluntarily closed because she can’t bear thinking someone might contract the virus at her business.

“I’m looking at other places like Italy and trying to avoid going through that,” Salas said. “Why are we not taking it as seriously as New York, Chicago, or even Kansas City?”

It’s a no-win situation for Meitzner and other local, state and national leaders, and I’m almost as sorry for them as owners of small businesses.

Our leaders seem to be leaving it up to the public to police their friends and neighbors. And there’s much shaming going around.

To promote a gig last Friday, Joe had a Facebook post joking about how he’s temporarily renaming his Fly By Night band Social Distance. I thought it was funny, but I immediately commented online that I didn’t approve of the gig. Even though I was chiding him, it still felt like a strange punch in the gut to see the immediate harsh reactions of some others.

There have been many other social media take-downs, such as this Facebook response to someone’s why-worry-let’s-party mindset: “It must be nice to have no sense of responsibility to anyone but yourself. . . . This is serious. Be an adult. The end.”

At my mother’s athletic club in Arkansas, the gym put a sign on every other machine saying the machines weren’t available so everyone could work out at a safe distance. One man — in front of his teenage daughter — flipped a sign and started using the machine and then went off on a woman who reported him.

It can be ugly having to police each other.

As I write this Sunday afternoon, a Washington Post story just popped in my inbox to update all the states making “stay at home” orders.

This is an hour after Sedgwick County held a news conference to announce it is not making stricter guidelines for staying in.

And, as if on cue, my husband just left to run a few nonessential errands, followed by a beer at Harry’s Uptown. He reports that he wasn’t the only one.

This story was originally published March 22, 2020 at 8:21 PM.