Plan your own ‘escape’ when you need time for yourself
“I just want to escape.”
How many times have we said that to ourselves? My friend Jazimen let out a groan that sounded like a medium-sized animal in pain when she said she wanted to escape from doing her taxes. Her escape was to a tax accountant.
After checking with people of all ages, it’s evident that ideas of escape are as diverse as the people trying to get away from it all. A couple of my friends said they feel they’ve escaped when their dogs are at doggy day care or the groomer. A young mother said she feels she has escaped when she locks the bathroom door and refuses to answer questions being yelled through the keyhole or respond to the notes slipped under the door. “I’m in there for 15 minutes or less! Why can’t they wait?” she asked.
Seems that life doesn’t wait. Maybe that’s why so many people say travel is the answer to escaping. Waking up far from home in surroundings that don’t resemble your normal life lets you think about you and what you’d like to do that day. You have time to “fill the well.” The trick here is to leave your phone at home, or at least turn it off 98 percent of the time. If you’re with the family, try to schedule alone time even if it’s brief.
Most people realize early in life you can’t go to a tropical island and walk on the beach every time you need to escape. That’s why it’s important to figure out how you can escape with less hassle – travel these days is not for the weak – and less expense. My friend Jean Ann told me she would escape in her car and park away from the maddening crowd in the Dillons parking lot. When I gave her a funny look she said, “Hey, no distractions.”
Artist Julian Schnabel told a reporter at the Wall Street Journal that he paints to escape. That’s his job, so he must be in escape mode most of the time. But using creative skills is a great way to escape. Some photographers, writers and dancers get in the escape zone by doing what they do for a living. They create and let the rest of the world get along without them for a while.
Some athletes escape to the gym. This, by the way, is an escape I can’t identify with. Golfers say their sport is a great escape. Snow skiers say swishing down the mountain is a great escape. I say the clubhouse is a great escape. My brother, who is 62 and a crazy triathlete, would consider riding his bike 20 miles or going for a 10-mile run as ways to escape. My dad thought fishing was a good escape. Yoga and meditation are two other escapes mentioned several times. Those I agree with.
My friend Pamela and several women in my book club agree with me that reading is a wonderful escape and that sometimes it’s a struggle to come back to the real world.
Also try this: If you want to calm down a bit and escape from what you’re doing, tell your brain to bring up a memory of a place and a time that was wonderful. It can be a vacation spot, a childhood home or a secret spot that only you know about. Think how it looked, how it smelled and the sounds you would hear and remember how lighthearted you felt when you were there. Breathe, imagine you’re there, and bingo! Down goes the old blood pressure.
When I asked the fifth-grade girls I have lunch with every Tuesday what they thought of when I said “escape,” I quickly learned I needed to rephrase the question. Immediately, two girls said, “jump out the window and run!” But when I asked what they did to escape from a tough day, they came back with “play video games,” “talk to friends,” “stare at the wall,” “quit thinking of the past and look to the future.”
Another insightful answer was, “I’d get in my bed and go into my own little world.”
Yes, it’s helpful to take deep breaths and go to your “happy place.” That works great until someone says, “Hey, what are you doing? You OK?” And you’re back. Re-entry to the real world. But that’s why it’s good to know your own escape route to a calm, better day. Once you’ve figured it out, you can get there whenever you need to.
This story was originally published March 13, 2015 at 3:10 PM with the headline "Plan your own ‘escape’ when you need time for yourself."