Bonnie Bing: Celebrating the bond between grandparents and grandchildren

Today is Grandparents Day. Some might say it’s just another day that is declared this or that so the greeting card companies can make money.

But there are those of us who love days designated for moms or dads, siblings, teachers, doctors and yes, grandparents. One of the best things in my life is being a grandma. Technically, I’m a step-grandma, but when I used that term once, all three granddaughters told me to never say it again.

If you’re a grandparent, you may or may not get a “Happy Grandparents Day” greeting today, but take a minute to think about your role. Think about your grandparents. I’m so different than either one of my grandmothers. I was closest to my mom’s mom. We called her Granny, and she was an energetic, funny woman who wore her gray hair in a braided bun. She lived in Latham on the corner across the main drag from the Methodist church and next to the Baptist church. If you wanted to get into either church, the keys were hanging on Granny’s front porch on a big nail. That amazed me. Anyone could get into the churches. I asked if they were worried someone would get the key, go in and steal something. Granny huffed and informed me there was nothing in either church worth stealing.

Grandpa had a heart attack around the age of 60 and couldn’t do much from then on. He played solitaire by the hour and he and I would play hearts. Anytime I see someone playing solitaire, I think of him. I’m still no good at hearts.

Granny instilled in me the notion that you simply do what needs to be done. Sometimes it’s not easy, but just get to it. She took in laundry. In the summer, when we would stay with them, she’d get up at 4 a.m. so she could get the washing and ironing done before it got too hot. She never complained and didn’t seem to think that ungodly hour was any big deal. To this day grape Kool-Aid, porch swings, geraniums and the smell of freshly ironed clothes make me think of my Granny.

My other grandparents lived down the road on the next corner on the other side of the street. My dad’s parents had 12 children. I learned from that grandmother that I didn’t want to have 12 children. Grandma always looked very tired and seemed completely worn out. And who wouldn’t be? Grandpa Bing couldn’t hear, but he was a funny old guy. They both seemed much older than they actually were.

When I was getting my hair cut Tuesday, oh all right, and colored, I asked my hairdresser Melissa Tinker about her grandparents. She has only one grandparent left, her grandpa. “I really do miss my grandmas,” she said.

Melissa has four children and says she’s so glad they have two grandmas. “And it’s great that they are so different. The kids get two completely different experiences when they are with their grandmas,” she said. “At my mom’s house, there are lots of kids, cousins and it’s wild and chaotic, just like it was when I was a kid at my grandma’s house. At Mary Lou’s (her husband’s mom), it’s calm, quiet and there is more opportunity for one-on-one time.”

Melissa summed it up by saying, “Grandparents are the best. It takes a village.”

I also chatted with Tasha Thrash, who seemed wise beyond her 21 years. She says she is from a close-knit family and knows the importance of staying in touch. “I think I do talk to my grandparents more than most people my age. I talk to them probably once a week,” she said.

When I asked her if she has learned anything from her grandparents, she said without hesitation, “My parents are divorced, but I learned what a relationship should look like from my grandparents. They were married for 59 years before my grandpa died of cancer.” Tasha says she will keep that lesson in mind as the relationship with her boyfriend progresses.

If you’re a grandparent, make memories with those grandchildren and recall the ones you’ve already made. Think of the memories you made with your grandparents. If you’re a grandchild, call your grandparents. You’ll make their day. And it is, after all, Grandparents Day.

Reach Bonnie Bing at bingbylines@gmail.com.

This story was originally published September 13, 2015 at 8:35 AM with the headline "Bonnie Bing: Celebrating the bond between grandparents and grandchildren."