‘You’re doing it wrong!’ Mommy shaming common, poll finds

More than half of all mothers with young children have drawn criticism over their parenting, a poll shows.

Six in 10 mothers have been criticized for parenting choices involving children who are 5 or younger, according to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health from the University of Michigan.

That’s not surprising to Wichita-area mothers reacting to the poll on Facebook.

“I was shamed for bottle feeding my newborn ... It was awful,” Nicole Loeffler wrote on a Facebook post about the poll.

It happened with each of her two children, she said.

Cheryl Gorges wrote that she has been shamed for having eight children. Carrie Soukup, who went to Hutchinson Community College and now lives in Austin, said she was called “selfish” because she had only one child.

Other moms wrote about being looked down upon because they kept their jobs rather than stay home with their babies.

Miranda McKellips Watkins said she remembered screaming at the nurses who kept trying to force her to nurse her newborn son, even though he simply didn’t want to cooperate despite repeated and arduous attempts.

“I was furious,” she wrote.

A private Facebook group called OMamas offers tips and answers to questions from mothers, she said, but it’s become a popular place to vent “about being shamed as a mother.”

The shaming isn’t just an annoyance, mothers said.

“What it does to one’s esteem is everlasting,” wrote Janelle Helton Robben, who lives in Edmond, Okla.

Family members have been the most common critics, according to the poll.

Women’s mothers or fathers have been the source of shaming 37 percent of the time, while their spouse or the child’s other parent were the next highest at 36 percent. In-laws were next at 31 percent.

Discipline is the most frequent topic of criticism, reported by 70 percent of mothers criticized. Other common topics have been diet and nutrition, sleep, safety and bottle versus breast-feeding.

This story was originally published June 21, 2017 at 5:01 PM with the headline "‘You’re doing it wrong!’ Mommy shaming common, poll finds."