‘Game of Thrones’ Season 5 finale: It ended just as it would in real life
The final episode may have seemed truly extraordinary as armies were torn asunder, eyeballs were gashed out, and several of the only characters still around since Season 1 made their violent departure.
But if you step back, the “Game of Thrones” Season 5 finale shows us that Westeros really isn’t all that different from our own lives.
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t watched the finale yet, don’t read any further.
Father-daughter talks
Your life: Remember that awkward father-daughter talk you had to have because your daughter was old enough to be treated like an adult – so you finally fessed up to some of your past indiscretions?
“Game of Thrones”: Jaime Lannister breaks the news to his daughter that she is a child of incest and then watches her bleed to death through the nostrils from a venomous kiss.
Trouble cutting your losses
Your life: You’re down only $200 at the craps table and, maybe with a couple of lucky breaths blown on the dice, you can hit sevens on the next two rolls and you’ll go home even.
“GoT”: After murdering too many men to count and then following his lucky witch’s advice to burn his own daughter alive at the stake, it looked as if Stannis Baratheon’s luck just might turn. Then Stannis’ wife hanged herself, half his men deserted him, and the other half were gutted to a man.
Embarrassing dreams
Your life: Remember that dream where you were naked at work and had to try to balance the company checking account while hiding your nether regions under your desk?
“GoT”: Cersei Lannister had a similar experience. She was forced to walk naked through the city she ruled, with an awful new pixie cut, as people threw organic food, spat at her and called her words too horrible to print – and her feet bled from the apparently jagged cobblestones they use on the streets of King’s Landing. Only it wasn’t a dream. It was such a terrible new form of torture on the show – total abject public humiliation, as if TMZ suddenly were put in charge of the nation’s courts – it kind of made you feel bad for Cersei. Quite a feat.
Bumping into the in-laws
Your life: No matter how hard you try to avoid them, eventually you’re going to be lying on the beach somewhere when the in-laws show up and the engine on your car will choose just that moment to stall out.
“GoT”: Queen Daenerys Targaryen had just taken off on a country jaunt with her fire-breathing dragon when they decided to stop for a rather messy-looking picnic roast. But her dragon is completely wiped out after stamping out an insurrection, so she’s going to have to stop and chat with her half-naked in-laws. We can only wonder at how awkward her conversation with the Dothraki is going to be now that Khal Drogo, her deceased husband and their one truly shared interest, isn’t there to smooth things over.
Disappointing a child
Your life: Sometimes you just can’t make it to your son’s baseball game, so you apologize, but he’s still a little miffed. So you take him out to Papa John’s and all is good again.
“GoT”: Because Jon Snow was busy rescuing the Wildlings from winter demons, he really couldn’t be there for Olly, who preferred that Snow dismember the Wildlings for the wretched way they slaughtered his family. Snow said he was sorry, but Olly was brooding for several weeks before he and his Night’s Watch friends decided to paint the wintery white around Jon’s body a Snowy red.
This story was originally published June 15, 2015 at 12:36 AM with the headline "‘Game of Thrones’ Season 5 finale: It ended just as it would in real life."