Sport Burger serves inexpensive, straightforward fast food

The clock turns to 11 a.m., and the line builds quickly down the street as cars wait for their turn in Sport Burger’s drive-through. The menu is constructed from cheap computer printouts, and with policies such as “Limit 12 regular cheeseburgers per car” and “If we are closed earlier than normal, it’s because we have sold out of product for the day,” it’s clear that Sport Burger’s product moves quickly.

At only $1.49, it’s easy to see why the cheeseburger is such a draw. The smashed patty is definitely too thin to be cooked to anything other than well-done, but the crispy edges and the caramelization of the meat make up for the lack of finesse. That the patty is properly seasoned helps, too, and is appreciated in a city that has a history of bigger, blander burgers. The cheese, bun and grilled onions are equally cheap and satisfying, making for a burger without pretense that is a tremendous value.

Fries are only slightly more expensive than a burger, so it should be no surprise they are of the boring, frozen variety. Thankfully, the fryer is kept at a high enough temperature that the steak fries are properly fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside. Liberally salted, they satisfy much better than their freshly-made and poorly-executed counterparts at other burger joints. A better option at nearly double the cost are the onion rings, which are overcooked but produce a great crunch and bite cleanly without dragging the entire onion out.

Incongruously listed on the small “healthy extras” menu, the Polish sausage sandwich is also surprisingly well-executed. The tender and slightly spicy sausage isn’t of any noteworthy ilk, but the high heat of the grill allows the edges of the split casing to caramelize just as well as the burgers, and with the grilled onions and a nicely toasted bun, it was a worthy addition to a limited menu.

The burgers are almost overshadowed by the impossibly small building, one of the last remaining Valentine diners in town. Pre-fabricated and sold around the 1950s, these small restaurants held only a few seats and were designed to provide an easy way to start a business. Although the dining room was still being used well into the 1990s, the counter is used only for storage nowadays – it’s a drive-through-only establishment now.

Over the years, 134 N. Hillside has seen the name on the sign change many times (Crest Grill, 1st National Hamburgers, Custom Hamburgers, Sutch-a-Burger, Fat Burgers), but Sport Burger’s owners have persisted for nearly a decade, perhaps finally figuring out that the best way to operate a tiny old diner is to focus on the cheap, fast food that it was built to make.

Sport Burger is a cash-only establishment, and one of its computer printout signs reminds diners that it doesn’t take credit cards, debit cards or “bills larger than $20.”

This story was originally published April 15, 2016 at 7:15 AM with the headline "Sport Burger serves inexpensive, straightforward fast food."