Dear Ariana Grande: Our advice to the pop singer

Dear Ms. Grande:

Can I call you Ariana?

You don’t know me, but my 10-year-old daughter knows you. She loves your ponytail, and she loves your songs, whose naughty lyrics are just vague enough that she doesn’t get what you’re really saying. Thank you for that.

Because my daughter likes you, and because I also like to lick and only lick doughnuts (calories), I wanted to offer you an objective, third-party bit of advice from someone just a couple of years older and wiser.

I see what they say about you. I hear the stories of the things you’ve done. And I’m concerned.

Not Britney concerned. You love that ponytail too much to ever shave it off. Not yet Miley concerned. You don’t seem to want to lick everything in sight. Just sweets.

I’m more like Christina concerned. You know, Christina Aguilera, the singer you expertly imitated in your classy black pantsuit when you were on Jimmy Fallon last month? Like you, she has a big voice. You got your break on Nickelodeon’s “Victorious,” when you were a teenager. She got her big break on “The Mickey Mouse Club” when she was a teenager.

Christina, though, decided she wasn’t a wholesome kid after all, and in her early 20s she revealed “Xtina,” a much skeevier version of herself with black hair, pierced everything and nudie pics in Maxim. She recorded a song called “Dirrty.”

But look at her now. Xtina is gone, and so are the piercings. She’s back to blonde. She’s a mega-popular judge on “The Voice.” She’s a mom and a businesswoman and out of the “cautionary tale” woods so many child stars wander into.

You still have time to be Christina. It’s not too late.

Occasionally, you show flashes of an inner Xtina. Word on the street is that you’re a bit of a fan-snubbing, reporter-dissing, backstabbing diva. The doughnut thing was kind of dumb. Your skirts gets punier by the day. And those come-hither eyes painted onto your little girl-looking face – they give me the oogies.

But just when I think it’s time for a starlet intervention, you redeem yourself. You respond to the coverage of your breakup with rapper Big Sean with a girl power Twitter essay that says girls have more to them than who they’re dating and that their talents and value should be celebrated rather than their relationships.

You supplement your music career and demonstrate your work ethic by landing acting jobs on the Fox television show “Scream Queens,” and in “Zoolander 2” with Ben Stiller, due out in February. And you get glowing reviews for recording what is a killer duet with opera legend Andrea Bocelli called “‘E Piu Ti Penso.” In Italian!

You even managed to craft an apology for the doughnut-gate that turned the whole thing into an anti childhood obesity public service announcement. Why did you say you hated America as you gazed at the decadent confection counter? “As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole,” you said.

Well played.

I also loved how you admitted, in your second doughnut apology, that at age 22 you’re still learning how to be an adult. And that you learn from your mistakes. That’s so true, sister. Take it from someone who at age 22 was wearing denim overalls and regularly drinking full sugar colas. In public.

In summary: Drop the diva. Stay out of doughnut shops if you hate doughnuts. Keep your clothes on. Don’t do drugs.

You’ll be fine.

See you on Tuesday,

Denise from Wichita

This story was originally published October 2, 2015 at 4:32 PM with the headline "Dear Ariana Grande: Our advice to the pop singer."