A guide to ‘Star Wars’ merchandise for devoted but not super-crazy adult fans

The new “Star Wars” movie debuts Dec. 18 during a juggernaut weekend not only for movies but also for holiday gifts. Total sales of merchandise is expected to reach several billion dollars. But you don’t have to wait that long to start shopping.

Long gone are the days when there were only four action figures available, as in 1978, or even the early 1980s, when the Ewok village playset was the ultimate “Star Wars” toy.

But now there is so much “Star Wars” merchandise that a new challenge has emerged: separating yourself from the passively acquainted fans without coming across as an 8-year-old or someone who has not left the basement in three months.

Nothing says warm-weather “Star Wars” fan than a movie-themed picture or phrase plastered on a T-shirt or mug – those are the gifts you should give people who are not true fans.

There is a lot of great merchandise for children: “Star Wars” pillows (and/or matching seven-piece bedroom set) are a perfect way for a girl to rest her head after a day of carrying a “Star Wars” lunch bag or wallet. While those kinds of items can be good for children who are still learning to love “Star Wars” characters like relatives, it won’t suffice for the sophisticated.

But walking around in full Yoda or Princess Leia garb in the wrong place at the wrong time will not earn too many points with the boss at work, let alone at the bar.

That is why The Eagle has assembled the definitive guide to “Star Wars” merchandise for the adult fan.

StarWars.com

“Smuggler’s bounty” subscription boxes: “The only official ‘Star Wars’ subscription box in the galaxy! For $25 every other month, members will receive a box full of Star Wars-themed Funko items that focus on a different part of the Star Wars universe. The debut box — themed The Force Awakens — will ship this November and contain two exclusive Pop! vinyl bobbleheads from the upcoming film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”

THINK GEEK

Yoda beanie: “Yoda’s wisdom runs deep. Sometimes when we’re trying to make hard decisions we wish we could have Yoda in our heads. Now, at least, we can have Yoda ON our heads with these plush Yoda Beanies. And maybe his alien wisdom will osmose through your skull. But we ain’t makin’ any promises.”

It goes well with the Princess Leia beanie: “The real draw is the knit exterior, made to look like Princess Leia’s hair - complete with buns. And everyone looks better with Princess Leia buns!” But if you don’t want to cover up your hair the Leia headband from Target might be your best bet.

Death Star earrings: “When you were young, you hung posters from your wall. As you got older, you hung models from your ceiling. And now you can hang your fandom from your face!”

The R2-D2 carry on luggage bag: “As R2-D2 protected Luke, so will this Star Wars R2-D2 Carry-On Luggage protect your underwear, shirts, socks, toothbrush, and everything else you need on your travels.”

Darth Vader Molded Crossbody Purse: “If you’re a proponent of the Dark Side, it’s hard to find a good spot to keep your valuables. ... And now you can carry your valuables in your very own, Sith-approved, Star Wars Darth Vader Molded Crossbody Purse. Drop your wallet, phone, and keys into the zippered section of this bag and your valuables will be protected by Vader’s intimidating stare. What more could you want?”

POTTERY BARN

This Millennium Falcoln bed for children is ridiculously expensive but awesome: “Jump into hyper speed for pleasant dreams. This playful bed boasts straight-from-the-set Star Wars™ details, including the Millennium Falcon™’s iconic cockpit shape, knobs and gauges.”

This Chewbacca sleeping bag is a way better way to make use of his furriness than, say, these Chewbacca Velvet Leggins with the Tagline “Wookie for your tooshie.” One can only wish that someone will make a Jabba the Hutt sleeping bag.

The smart Chewbacca merch is plentiful, since Chewy’s hair provides ample inspiration (and warmth): for example, the Chewbacca-themed Peruvian Beanie, the Chewbacca hoodie that looks like it could be real fur worn by a Russian supermodel, not to mention the Chewbacca beer coozy.

SUPERHERO STUFF.COM

This water-bottle-shaped lightsaber (or rather lightsaber-shaped water bottle) comes close to just being a slapped-on-light saber image, but it manages to capture the spirit of the lightsaber: “Stay properly hydrated for epic Force battles between Jedi and Sith with the Star Wars Jedi Lightsaber Tritan Water Bottle ... and can hold up to 21.5oz of liquid but it just doesn’t hold up against a properly fired-up lightsaber.” (This Darth Vader-themed thermos from Target also manages to not just be a drink receptacle but a real tribute to the Dark Side.)

A stormtrooper sculpted head mug: “The Dark Side. Now with cream and sugar!” (i.e. dark brew inside your dark side). It’s good but the best mug may go to this R2-D2 mug with metal hinge from Amazon. But the cool kids will probably almost all be shelling out for the Jango Fett from Amazon.

Nostalgia for Star Wars overlaps with nostalgia for mad libs in this Star Wars-themed Mad Libs books.

The Star Wars-themed Chewbacca bandolier car seat belt shows the movie isn’t all about danger and adventure; it’s also about taking the proper precautionary safety measures before a fight.

These Han Solo frozen into carbonite ice cube trays will sort out your true Star Wars friends from the people who think you are stalking them just as soon as they see that pained expression of Harrison Ford floating in the punch bowl: “The Star Wars Carbonite Ice Cube Tray satisfies all of your Harrison Ford-based ice cube desires.” (There are other less creepy ice options available on Amazon but none cooler than the Death Star cube maker.)

For those that don’t think they need the real stuff in their intergalactic meanderings, this faux leather handbag shaped as R2-D2 will suffice: “The Star Wars R2D2 Faux Leather Handbag is what you need. I don’t know what for but only that you need it!”

HOTTOPIC.COM

Vanilla scented R2-D2 Air freshener 2 pack to keep your terrestrial vehicles fresh.

TARGET

The lightsaber flashlight is a classic but it’s a classic for a reason: it celebrates the movies without totally warping the thing you are using. A flashlight look like a lightsaber.

Sometimes we need little reminders in our house to be our better selves. What’s better than having Yoda pop out of your wall socket and provide light and inspiration on your way to the bathroom.

AMAZON

If eating cookies brings out your dark side, then this Darth Vader cookie jar, while not an elegant design, should at least remind you of important Star Wars themes. This death star-shaped cookie jar may not be the perfect shape to hold cookies, but it sure does look nifty. If you like your cookies soft and chewy, the “wookiee cookies” jar may be the best option.

Cutting pizza is a pain. Wouldn’t it be great if R2-D2 could do it for you (or at least with you)? Yes: “Plays Sound Effects When Pressed Down.”

Flipping meat on the grill is a great way to show off, but why not do it with lightsaber-shaped tongs: “Shaped like a lightsaber, perfect for turning your meat to the dark side! ... slide button for authentic Star Wars Sound effects.”

If you love Mickey Mouse and Star Wars equally, now you don’t have to choose, with this Mickey/R2-D2 ornament. Or try this Goofy/Darth Vader pillow or Donald Duck frozen in carbonite toss pillow or R2-D2 in a Santa hat yard art.

If the Easter Bunny isn’t cutting it among your older children anymore, try these empty R2-D2 Easter egg containers, which are three times cheaper than these R2-D2 egg cups.

Some people need a forceful alarm clock to get up in the morning. So why not a Darth Vader alarm clock bust?

This story was originally published October 15, 2015 at 8:18 AM with the headline "A guide to ‘Star Wars’ merchandise for devoted but not super-crazy adult fans."