Bonnie Bing: Ate too many brownies? It’s COVID’s fault.

Think or say the word “COVID” and it can turn a smile upside down in a nano second.

But wait. Aren’t we supposed to find something good in anything bad, no matter how bad it is. And we darn sure agree this blanket- blank virus we’ve put up with for a year is BAD.

So, after wondering what on earth could be good or what purpose COVID could serve I decided it was good for one thing: Excuses

Don’t want to go somewhere? Explain you think you might have symptoms, say you tested positive, say you’ve been around someone who tested positive, or heck, just say you’ve got it. No one will want you to come near them.

I’m not saying you should constantly tell big fat lies, but that headache you have in the morning may not be from the entire bottle of wine you drank while binge watching something on Netflix, it could be the dreaded virus.

And the need to self-quarantine sometimes comes from within. We all need some quiet time, especially after three ZOOM meetings, one right after the other. Use the word “quarantine” as a get-out-of-jail card.

Staying home more than most of us ever have brings on the perfect excuse of not doing a task: ‘Oh well I’ll be home all day tomorrow, I’ll do it then. That mess in the basement will still be there tomorrow, or hey, even the next day.” I know this one first hand.

Short tempered? It’s because of COVID. Ate too many brownies? It’s COVID’s fault. Wasted three hours looking at Facebook and Instagram? It’s because you’re trying to stay connected. The disconnect is COVID’s fault.

Went out to the driveway to get your Saturday newspaper even though it’s not delivered on Saturday? Well, it’s because COVID seems to put your brain in a fog. And even if you haven’t had it, with all the COVID adjustments to daily routines, it’s easy to lose track of what day it is. Or month for that matter.

Too much shopping on Amazon and other sites that tempt us with incredible sales? It’s COVID’s fault that we love the excitement of getting those boxes containing stuff we didn’t even know we needed or wanted. And they’re delivered right to our front porches! Who doesn’t need a little excitement?

Haven’t exercised in at least six months? It’s COVID’s fault because working out alone is torture. And getting back in shape sounds about as much fun as plowing the south 40 with your chin.

This said, we better be thinking because once this unprecedented part of our lives is over, and it will be, we’ll need a new source for excuses.

Or I suppose we can, and probably will, use the COVID excuse for a few years.

This story was originally published March 21, 2021 at 6:01 AM.