Handling bad situations with grace

The young woman never looked me in the eye or in my direction for that matter. She didn’t say a word. She dropped my purchase in a sack and shoved it out of her way. I picked it up, said, “thank you” and walked out the door wondering how she keeps her job.

It’s not just people my age wondering where courtesy has gone. We’ve missed the bygone concept of customer service for a long time, but when did kindness and being courteous become a thing of the past?

Sitting at the stoplight on my way home I was still thinking about the teenager at the cash register. I didn’t accelerate the second the light changed so the person behind me honked. I hate that. It was two seconds instead of one before I moved and the guy is honking. I thought, ‘Geez, why is everyone acting like they need more fiber in their diet?’ I wondered if the heat was getting to these grouchy folks who have the “I hate my life” expression on their faces.

At the next stop light I could hear my mom saying, “Take a look from the other side.”

All right. Maybe the teenager at the cash register just had a heart wrenching break up with her boyfriend and she thought life as she had known it with Mr. Wonderful was over forever. Maybe her grandma is sick. Maybe she can’t bear the thought of summer being over.

Maybe the guy at the stop light was trying to get to the hospital because his wife just texted she is in labor. Maybe he was late for an important meeting with his boss. Who knows.

I can’t help but wonder if some of this age of rudeness comes with the tsunami of technology. Are we really more concerned with what shows up on our phones than the look on someone’s face? Perhaps someone who needs some undivided attention? Not to mention it is much easier to be rude, and yes, downright mean, when you can type it instead of say it.

I’ve learned it’s not wise to write something very negative and immediately hit “send.” Wait. Breathe. Sleep on it.

I’ve seen things escalate pretty quickly when someone starts shoving in a crowd or cuts in line. It’s not always easy to close your eyes, take a breath, and “go to your happy place” when at that moment it would feel so much better to say, “Hey, (fill your favorite bad name in here) who do you think you are?”

Don’t you think the more stressful your day has been, the worse you are at handling someone’s rudeness? And stress tends to make anyone more short tempered than they would be on a good day.

I’ve often thought it would be nice to change the “every man for himself” mentality to “we’re all in this together.” Because we are.

We see politicians being anything but civil to each other and continually hear complaints from people who can’t see beyond their own needs and wants. So we shouldn’t be surprised that handling bad situations with grace is no longer the norm.

I’m following my mom’s advice she gave me when I was a seventh grader when a friend hurt my feelings. I’m taking a look from the other side. Sometimes it works. And, well, sometimes not so much. But we have to try.

This story was originally published August 3, 2017 at 4:37 PM with the headline "Handling bad situations with grace."