‘Defending the Caveman’ explains the differences between men and women

“Defending the Caveman” hasn’t really been around since the Neolithic Era. But as plays go, it’s got some history.

Longest-running solo play in Broadway history. Staged in 45 counties and 18 languages. Nearly a quarter-century straight of running somewhere.

To keep up with the demand in the U.S. alone, there are eight actors who step into the role.

Or as producer Bill Mann says: “There are a lot of cavemen out there.”

But you already knew that.

Saturday’s production at the Orpheum Theatre will be the show’s first visit to Wichita. The caveman de jour, Cody Lyman, is a Colorado-based actor and comedian who says the show’s title is a little misleading. It’s really about men and women – “how we’re different and how sometimes those differences lead to misunderstandings.”

“I think the only pre-requisite for enjoying this show is to have loved someone enough to be frustrated with them at some point, which is something everyone can relate to,” Lyman said.

The show was penned by standup comedian Rob Becker in 1991, after he’d seen a one-woman show by Lily Tomlin. Becker drew on anthropology, psychology, sociology and other fields to put a comic twist on what most of us already know – that men and women are wired different.

Lyman contends that fact often gets forgotten – at least by women.

“If a woman does something that a man doesn’t understand, we tend to be OK with it,” he said. “We understand that we’re different. If a man does something that a woman doesn’t understand, they just think we’re wrong.”

But don’t get the idea that “Caveman” is about woman-bashing. Far from it, says Lyman. Cavemen idolize women – literally.

“The truth of the matter is, in all these (archaeological) digs, all they find are these goddess images,” Lyman said. “These are people who worship women.”

Lyman said the differences between the sexes start with something cavemen invented and women perfected – talking. Studies show that women use about 7,000 words a day, men about 2,000.

For instance, if Lyman comes home from work and doesn’t feel like talking, his wife might be under the impression that he’s upset about something.

“Really, I’m just out of words for the day,” he said. “I’ve already done my 2,000 for the day.”

Then there’s cooperation. Women are good at it. Men are more into negotiation. Lyman said he’s seen men at a party pull out a tape measure to see who’s closer to the kitchen and therefore responsible for re-filling the chip bowl.

And there are, for sure, differences of opinion about what constitutes proper accommodations. “Caveman” is staged with a simple set depicting the entire evolutionary scope of manly interior decorating – a cave painting and a TV.

That brings to mind a story about Becker, who hired Lyman and the other Cavemen when he was performing the show himself. These days, according to producer Mann, Becker lives in Wyoming “and keeps threatening to write a show about Cave Dad.”

Lyman said it “was really nice to get that first-hand experience” from the show’s creator, who showed a Caveman-like fondness for the latest technology.

“He’s a pretty simple guy. He kind of is the Caveman. This was when those big plasma TV screens were coming out. We would stop rehearsals from time to time to go shop for screens.”

This story was originally published November 20, 2014 at 11:44 AM with the headline "‘Defending the Caveman’ explains the differences between men and women."