Go ahead – decorate. Just don’t hurt yourself.

The only thing missing was a lumber jack in a plaid shirt yelling “timmmmberrrrr.”

Nothing like a Christmas tree falling over just when you have the lights working and the ornaments spaced just so.

It wasn’t that big a deal. It was a little tree and not even a real one. It did, however, signal the direction my annual decorating extravaganza was going to go.

For example, I moved some furniture just enough to squeeze in the stepladder. I got up on the ladder, so I was sort of wedged between the lamp and the window, all the time wishing I was 50 pounds thinner. But when I tried to step up to the next step, I couldn’t. My baggy sweat pants hem was under the leg of the ladder I was standing on. Instead of getting off the ladder as a normal person would do, I thought if I sort of jumped and pulled on my pant leg at the same time I could free it.

You know where this is going. I took hold of the cross bar of the ladder and jumped and pulled on my pant leg and nearly did a header into my favorite reading chair, but I grabbed the garland I was hanging, which of course was not attached to anything.

I ended up landing in the chair backward with my feet in the air and the garland hanging on the lamp. I changed into shorter pants.

Then there’s that electricity thing. Those twinkling little white lights we love so much require electricity. Don’t mention batteries to me. That’s a whole different story. We live in an old house, so we have one, maybe two outlets in each room. My husband is convinced every year I am going to burn the house and all the contents to the ground. So far it hasn’t happened, although last year an unfortunate incident with a candle resulted in a huge hole burned in the middle of the dining room table, so that was a lesson learned.

Another lesson: Always try the lights before putting them up. I tried; they worked. I put them on the tree in our bedroom. Yes, I think every bedroom should have a Christmas tree. I told you I overdid the decorating thing. After a while, those lights were looking just right. Next came burgundy, green and gold balls. I dropped a ball and it shattered on the hardwood floor. Two seconds later, one fell off the tree and shattered. Third time is a charm, so of course another ball fell and bounced. It was plastic.

I knew I needed to take a break when I said TO THE CHRISTMAS BALL: “Thanks for being plastic.” Good grief.

I got the tree decorated, put on the topper, and it was great. Until I turned the lights off with the little button over by the bed. I turned it back on to test it. Nothing. Unladylike language. Deep breath. I jiggled everything a bit and voila! It worked.

Last year when it took three days to put all this stuff away, I swore I wouldn’t get carried away again. But then the holiday season arrived, and I’m a maniac. My husband says he avoids the whole process because if he stands still, I’ll put something sparkly on him.

But even when decorating tries your patience, you have to admit decorating is fun. And for a few weeks, you get to enjoy the festive scenery in your own home.

Just don’t hurt yourself and don’t burn the house down. Oh, and wear short pants.

This story was originally published December 8, 2016 at 5:30 PM with the headline "Go ahead – decorate. Just don’t hurt yourself.."