What's the best part of the NCAA Tournament?
Is it filling out the 20th bracket to enter in one's office pool, or coming up a way to skip work Thursday and Friday afternoon of the first week?
Is it the pure joy on the face of Southwestern Small College State point guard after the miracle shot banks in to send the Swashbucklers into the second round?
Is the realization of a lifelong dream to cut down the nets in the Final Four and win a championship?
My favorite part is the complaining.
Your team didn't get invited to the Big Dance?
Time to complain. To give it added gravitas, try to have another coach in your 20-team SuperConference go on television to argue, "I don't know how we can hold a tournament without the 16th best team in the toughest conference in America."
Ignore that SuperConference's abysmal performance later in the opening weekend.
Hate your team's seeding?
Shout to someone: "It's clear the East Coast-biased NCAA committee, big-moneyed CBS and the long-reaching tentacles of ESPN all want my team to lose. How could they place my team in that region. It's murderers' row!"
Make sure to ignore any upsets later in the week, which may weaken the region's potency.
Maybe you're just upset the greatest annual sporting event only has 65 teams in it, and not 96.
This tactic is even better implemented if one makes the rounds on sports radio with the following talking points, in a plan better executed than the 2010 Census' all-out media blitz:
"No one thought expanding the tournament was hurt by going from 16 to 32 teams....we're robbing kids of the chance to play in this tournament....who doesn't want more?"
Ignore the fact the No. 16 seed is already 0-104 in the tournament's history, but yet it somehow is a good idea to include seven more lower seeds per region?
Hate the way the tournament is covered by CBS?
"I hate the games they're showing me. And these no-good broadcasters are talking about my team's opponent way too much. Why aren't they talking about my team only?"
Ignore the fact that in this world where anything that can be sold, will be, the NCAA has offered free Internet streaming of every game of the tournament for yet another year.
I shouldn't point this out. Maybe the NCAA just hasn't noticed the switch is still on.
Enjoy the rest of the tournament everyone. I'm sure the Sweet 16, Elite Eight and Final Fours will once again be colossal disappointments with no lasting memories.
Run 'n' Gun is The Eagle Sports staff's weekly look at the offbeat side of sports.