Terry Wayne Ward recently “escaped this mortal realm,” and his family decided to have a little fun with his obituary.
The DeMotte, Indiana man, 71, is described in the obit as a renowned distributor of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches who “despised uppity foods” such as hummus, among other things.
Ward died on Tuesday, leaving behind his many valuable possessions – 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and other random items “that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse,” according to his obituary. He’s survived by his wife, two daughters and several grandchildren.
He met his wife by telling her he was a lineman, but neglected to specify that it was for a phone company, not the NFL. He and Kathy still married in the fall of 1969, “perfectly between the summer of love and the winter of regret,” the obit said.
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Ward served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War, the obit said, and then worked for more than 30 years at AT&T, where he accumulated a sizeable portion of black electrical tape that he found very useful.
He wasn’t attached to material things, the obit said. He never owned a cellphone and never caught up with the Kardashians.
He enjoyed hunting, fishing and Bed Bath & Beyond, the obit said. But perhaps most importantly, he died knowing that “The Blues Brothers” was the “best movie ever,” and that hot sauce can be added to any food.
The obituary noted that Ward died after his parents, his daughter and grandson, a 1972 Rambler and a hip.
He’ll be laid to rest on Saturday, his obituary said. Donations in his name can be made to your favorite charity or “watering hole.”
The obit is getting praise on Twitter, where some people said they felt like they knew him, or wish they had.
Ward wasn’t the only one recently honored with a silly and poignant obituary. Price Mackenzie Davis’s family and friends penned a humorous description in November of the Texas native, 31, who may or may not have died “when he rushed into a burning pet store to save a litter of purring, adorable kittens,” the obit said, according to the Tyler Morning Telegraph.
Another obituary published on Legacy.com in 2016 for William Ziegler, 69, joked that he died on purpose “to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election.”