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Late-night laughs

"Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab. All part of the Republicans' Pledge to America." — David Letterman

President Obama has "been having these backyard talks. He met with a family in Iowa and a family in Virginia. Both families said the same thing. 'It's Wednesday. Shouldn't you be working?'" — Jay Leno

"I don't know what (the Republicans') problem is with 'don't ask, don't tell.' Even if it is repealed, there will still be a major American institution where gays are still forced to hide in shame and secrecy: the Republican Party." — Bill Maher