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Late-night laughs

"House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, 'When it comes to cleaning up the government, the Democrats have drained the swamp.' You know what's left after you drain the swamp? Snakes! Snakes everywhere!" — Jay Leno

"Happy birthday to President Barack Obama; 49 years old. . . . Yeah, that's right. If he had a birth certificate." — David Letterman

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