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Late-night laughs

"Next week the president of China will be at the White House. And good news: He has no plans to foreclose." — Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, was speaking at the alcohol convention in Las Vegas, Nev. Because, I mean, let's face it, nothing says family values like gambling and liquor." — David Letterman

"President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' game. Obama took a short windup and threw a high-arcing pitch. Of course, Democrats saw the pitch as moderately close to the middle, while Republicans are calling it 'way to the left and possibly socialist.'" — Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama didn't actually throw the ball. He got it to the catcher's mitt through a series of back-door dealings." — Leno

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