"President Obama had his first physical exam as president. . . . The doctor said he was in much better shape than the country." — Jay Leno
"Sarah Palin has been shopping around her own reality show. Yeah. Of course, any reality show about Sarah Palin will have to compete with that other reality show about Sarah Palin: the news." — Jimmy Fallon
"New Yorkers are desperate. They're trying to get (Gov. David) Paterson to leave early, and I said to myself, 'That sounds like a job for Jay Leno.'" — David Letterman
Premium content for only $0.99
For the most comprehensive local coverage, subscribe today.