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Late-night laughs

The health care summit went on "for a little more than six hours, which, coincidentally, happens to be exactly the average wait time at the emergency room if you were to go in with something bleeding." — Jimmy Kimmel

"It's a great day for former Vice President Dick Cheney, who was released from the hospital. He's doing well. Doctors say he'll be up and shooting lawyers in no time." — Craig Ferguson