"President Obama's approval rating has now dipped below 50 percent. To tell you how bad it is, people are now finding ways to sneak out of the White House." — Jay Leno
"Santa Claus is making a list and checking it twice. Now why can't the Secret Service do that?" — David Letterman
"Santa Claus, as you know, has a plan to fly around the world to deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls. Unfortunately, it's being blocked right now by Joe Lieberman." — Jimmy Kimmel
"Computer technicians in Washington say they have found 22 million missing e-mails from President George W. Bush's administration. And you can tell the e-mails are from the Bush administration because they all begin, 'Dear Santa.'" — Conan O'Brien
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