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Late-night laughs

"President Obama is getting ready to pardon the White House turkey, the Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner. . . . I don't want to say Geithner is not doing a good job. But today God asked for his name to be taken off the bill." — Jay Leno

"President Obama pardons the White House turkey. Dick Cheney didn't miss an opportunity. This proves that Obama is soft on poultry." — David Letterman

"According to a new poll, more Americans would like to have Thanksgiving dinner with Hillary Clinton than with Sarah Palin. Mainly because no one wants to eat elk pie. With caribou syrup on it." — Conan O'Brien

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