News Columns & Blogs

Late-night laughs

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney has accused the White House of 'dithering' over the strategy for the war in Afghanistan. The White House said they're thinking it over, and they should have an answer for him in six to eight weeks." — Jay Leno

"President Obama just declared the swine flu outbreak a national emergency. A couple of weeks ago, it was like, 'Calm down, it's going to be fine.' . . . Make up your mind. This thing is like the Brett Favre of infectious diseases." — Jimmy Fallon

"In response to Obama's declaration, the Republican leaders this morning came out in support of the swine flu." — Jimmy Kimmel