"Hey, at a concert in Washington, D.C., Paul McCartney dedicated the song 'Michelle' to Michelle Obama. And then, I thought this was sweet, he dedicated the song 'Taxman' to Barack." — Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama just announced he's considering transferring prisoners from Guantanamo Bay to Michigan. The idea is to scare the prisoners into revealing information about terror plots by showing them a bus ticket to Detroit." — Conan O'Brien
For his "48th birthday, the president has asked that in lieu of sending a gift, people just make a donation to his favorite charity, General Motors." — O'Brien
"Now that he's freed the journalists, Bill Clinton's next mission is get Paula Abdul back on 'American Idol.'" — Craig Ferguson
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