News Columns & Blogs

Late-night laughs

"During his speech to American schoolchildren, President Obama said that what you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. But no pressure." — Jimmy Fallon

"He encouraged them to work hard and study hard. Yeah, then he said if that doesn't work, grab the seat next to the Asian kid." — Conan O'Brien

"I thought, wait a minute. He might be trying a little too hard. . . . At the end he invited all the kids to the White House for a beer." — David Letterman

"Some Republicans were so mad about Obama's speech to schoolchildren, they had Dick Cheney give a rebuttal. He showed kids the proper way to stuff a geek into a locker." — Craig Ferguson