"At her confirmation hearing, Sonia Sotomayor said that judges gather information from everywhere, including Wikipedia, which explains why she kept citing the landmark case Roe v. Wade Boggs." — Conan O'Brien
"How about that Harry Potter movie? . . . In this one, Harry goes up against Dick Cheney and his secret CIA hit squad." — David Letterman
"President Obama's teleprompter fell to the ground and shattered during a speech on the economy. Wow, even speeches about the economy are crashing. That's bad." — Jimmy Fallon
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