"President Obama is proposing a new national health care plan that's both inexpensive and accessible. He's calling it Have Your Surgery in Mexico." — Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama says he wants to create a national health care plan that's both affordable and easy to use. . . . And the insurance industry says they'll fight the plan with congressmen who are both affordable and easy to use." — Conan O'Brien
"Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor fell and broke her ankle, and she's expected to be on crutches for several weeks. In a related story, Republicans have announced that Sotomayor's confirmation hearing will consist of three questions and a timed obstacle course." — O'Brien
"Rush (Limbaugh) said he hopes her ankle doesn't heal." — David Letterman
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