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Late-night laughs

"I want to congratulate General Motors' newest CEO, us." — Jimmy Fallon

"The taxpayers are going to be lending bankrupt General Motors $30 billion. Taxpayers' money. Exactly, right. I mean, GM has become America's brother-in-law." — David Letterman

"You can say what you like about President Obama, but he's not afraid of tough challenges. Last week, the president rescued GM. This week, he's off to the Middle East. Next week, the toughest challenge yet: trying to save 'Jon & Kate Plus 8.'" — Craig Ferguson

"President Obama showed (NBC's) Brian Williams what tricks his new puppy, Bo, could do. Isn't that cool? Yeah, in fact, Bo has already learned to sit up and beg for federal bailout money." — Conan O'Brien