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Pain of loss leads father to help others

Pain can lead to helping others.

That's what Paul recently did with the ache in his heart, created when his 38-year-old daughter and mother of three died unexpectedly in March 2007.

The beneficiary was Stormy Tabor, a 26-year-old mother of four whose husband was killed in September 2008.

Paul, who asked that his last name not be used, gave Tabor $400 so she and her children could have something for Christmas.

"We're just barely getting by," said Tabor, who finally gave up working three jobs to operate a day care out of her home. "It's hard."

Paul met Tabor at Three Trees, a nonprofit Wichita organization that helps grieving children and their families.

There was much about Tabor's situation that reminds Paul of what his son-in-law goes through raising children as a single parent.

"Stormy's trying so hard," Paul said.

When Three Trees called Tabor about Paul's offer, she said, "I just broke down crying."

It had been nearly a year since he'd seen Tabor, but she quickly came to mind when his mother recently gave him $300.

At first, he put the money in a metal case.

"A gift is for something special," Paul said. "You don't just blow it.

"From the minute I got it, I felt I should give it to Stormy. I felt that's what the Lord wanted me to do. I never considered it my money."

Initially, the gift amount was going to be only the $300, but he added another $100.

He certainly could have used the money for himself.

"It's been a pretty rough year," said Paul, a businessman. "I'm hurting a little bit, but I don't think you give out of abundance."

He looks around and sees the needs.

"This is a hard time for a lot of people," Paul said. "You just have to be sensitive. Anything you can do encourages them. It shows someone cares."

It did that for Tabor.

"For the longest time, I've been second-guessing everything that's been happening," she said. "It touched me about what (Paul) said about God bugging him to help.

"Now I feel God is trying to get me back to where I need to be."

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